So, along with various other Christmas presents, I’ve been playing myself some Madden NFL 2006 on my PS2. Now, I realize that nobody besides me cares about the rise and fall of my fantasy sports teams. And so I can imagine that the same would hold true for my Madden seasons. If not more so considering how these aren’t even REAL people. But nevertheless, this is my blog, so I’ll do what I want, thank you very much.

I started my franchise out as the Browns, of course, and on the “Pro” level, which was the default it came with. I went 18-1, destroying everything in my path, and easily won the Super Bowl. In the offseason, I created “Dan Miller” a 6’4″ 240 lb. (cough, cough) middle linebacker who of course has awesome stats and signed with the Browns. Naturally in one of the pre-season games, he breaks his upper arm and is out for the season. I also lose my QB and RB for 9 and 8 weeks respectively. This, combined with the fact I moved up to “All-Pro” has made this season a bit more challenging. There are a few problems, one of which being that, just like in real life, Charlie Frye sucks.

The chief problem however is that the kicking meter moves so fast I can’t reliably get any kicks going. I routinely shank extra points, field goals, punts, kickoffs, whatever. It’s very frustrating. Possibly even MORE annoying though is the fact that on kickoffs after I score, AFTER the kicking meter pops up and says “Press X to start the kickoff” or whatever, a recap graphic of the last drive pops up. This interrupts the kicking meter, and doesn’t let you finish the kick, causing you to boot a “0-accuracy” kick out of bounds, giving the other team awesome field position. Very annoying.

In other facets of the game, my passing is mediocre, my running game is pretty good, and my defense is amazing, and the only reason I’m not 0-16. There was one game, against the hated Bengals, that kind of typifies my season:

I manage to score 2 early TDs. Of course, since I earlier mentioned how much I suck at kicking, I missed both extra points. I know I should probably just go for 2 but I am trying to get better.
I lead 12-3 going into halftime. The Bengals have the ball deep in their own territory and with 1 second left, just hand the ball off to Rudi Johnson to run out the clock. Of course, instead he breaks it for a 75 yard TD.
I get the 2nd half kickoff and drive down for another score. I’m inside the 10, and throw a pass. But instead of it being caught for a score and me going up 19-10, it’s picked off and returned the other way to make it 16-12 (they went for 2 and did not make it).
Despite multiple opportunities, I cannot get anything else going offensively until I stop them again late after using all my timeouts. I string together a few good plays and am inside the 10 again. Because it’s 16-12 I can’t kick a FG (not that I’d make it anyways) but there’s only a few seconds left. Clock is running so I’m trying to spike the ball, but I hit the wrong button and instead call another play. Since I don’t know what play it was, I end up throwing the ball out of the endzone, and lose the game. Very annoying.

Other annoying games were a 0-0 tie in my other game with the Bengals, when I couldn’t get any offense going and missed a 30 yard FG as time ran out in OT, and a 7-6 loss to the Ravens when I missed the XP on my touchdown AND missed a 23 yard FG as time ran out (I considered going for it on 4th and goal from the 5 but wasn’t sure I could get in).

Anyway, that brings me to the question I wanted to pose with this post. After starting out the season 3-7-1, I’ve won 3 straight and now stand at 6-7-1. With 2 games left, the best I can finish is 8-7-1. There are 5 AFC teams already with at least 9 wins, so I’m fighting for the 6th and final playoff spot. Thare are 2 teams (Patriots and Ravens I think) that are 8-6 and 2 teams (Chiefs and Raiders?) that are 7-7. Obviously, I need the Pats and Ravens to lose their last 2 games for me to make the playoffs.

So, is it acceptable for me to (in addition to playing my games as the Browns) play the Patriots game? For example last game, the Patriots played the Jets. I didn’t want to just leave it up to the computer to decide who won, so I played it. But I don’t want to be “cheating”. I think it would be cheating if I played the game as the Patriots, and intentionally lost the game. That seems shady to me. But I played it as the Jets, so I still had to win the game (which I did, barely, because the Jets are even worse than the Browns!) So to me, because I still have to win the game. So in order for me to win the Super Bowl, I have to win 2 more games for the Browns, 2 games vs. the Ravens, 2 games vs. the Patriots, and 1 game vs. both the Chiefs and the Raiders. In addition to the 3 straight I already have won and the 4 playoff games, that’s 15 straight games. If I can do that, then I will crown myself Super Bowl champion! Of my pretend league! With made up players! go me!