THE PEOPLE MUST HAVE THEIR DAN MILLER

Hypothetical advantages a grown adult has over a 5 year old in a water fight

So, hypothetically speaking, let’s say a grown adult and a 5 (and a half!) year old boy got into a water fight. Each are armed with a similar water pistol. This treatise will attempt to outline the various advantages the adult would have in such a fight.

  • Physical
    • Faster acceleration and top speed. This helps both in pursuit as well as retreat
    • Quicker reaction times
    • One negative would be that the adult’s larger body size could be a hindrance for hiding / ambushes as well as presenting a larger surface area for opposing water shots
    • A surer aim
  • Mentally
    • A stronger grasp on when to refuel. You definitely don’t want to be shooting blanks when a raging opponent is bearing down on you firing hot lead err water err cold err more room temperature I guess.
  • Socially
    • Whereas a 5 year old will get soundly rebuked for shooting a water pistol inside, a grown adult can more easily get away with it (while still getting yelled at, of course)
  • Tactically
    • The typical 5 year old does not have a solid grasp on certain key military tactics, such as:
    • The art of ambush
    • The importance of maintaining and securing the high ground (like say, a raised front porch)
    • The art of taking cover behind various poles and objects (though he might hypothetically try to take cover behind his sister, as if that might stop me any hypothetical adult

All in all, I think that with said advantages, an adult would be able to escape a water fight with a 5 year old almost completely dry, while such a 5 year old would be soaking wet from head to toe.

Did I miss any advantages?

Possibly Related posts:

  1. Snow So… it snowed last night. This winter has been unseasonably warm, to a crazy extreme. I mean we’ve had several January days in the 60s, and it’s only snowed once all winter, about 2-3 months ago. It didn’t snow all that much – maybe 3-4 inches, but as we were getting ready for church this […]…
  2. Outhustled to 6 cents by an 80 year old man Yup, I was outhustled yesterday afternoon. I had stopped to get some gas, and after filling up, I did my normal jaunt around the pumps, checking for coins. I went one way, and then I was coming back to my car when I spotted a nickel and a penny on the ground. But so too […]…

Dan Miller

4 responses to “Hypothetical advantages a grown adult has over a 5 year old in a water fight”

  1. All very true. Of course, the hypothetical 5-year-old could wait until his older brother-err-father-err-the hypothetical adult THOUGHT the water fight was over and be secretly waiting with a mouthful of water and spew said water in the hypothetical adult’s face when he walked into the room. This is all very hypothetical, of course. 🙂 I would also like to mention that this hypothetical scenario was-err-would be freaking hilarious.

  2. Hypothetically speaking though, a further advantage of an adult is that such an adult would be much more likely to be able to pull off such a move. I mean I don’t know what kind of experience you have with 5 year olds, but let me tell you that they’re not able to do things very stealthily

  3. The 5 year old has the advantage of tears. The adult will soak the 5 year old head to toe while staying completely dry, the 5 year old will cry, the adult will hug the 5 year old, thus getting wet.

  4. You also failed to mention the adult would likely have a keen eye for the better weapon (were such an advantage to exist) and the savvy to select or otherwise obtain superior armament. Relatively similar could be very loosely defined. AP is going big tonight-
    http://www.goldencabo.com

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *