So while working late at night I get an email that says, in its entirety:

Why didn’t Larry ask Harry to be his best man?  I mean, they’re brothers!

And doesn’t Larry have a best friend of his own?  I mean you’re not even Larry’s best friend; you’re Harry’s best friend!

In what world would you be your best friend’s brother’s best man?

I had no idea what he was talking about and wondered if my 2:20 a.m brain could possibly handle this. But after a bit of conversation, my friend Jim and I sat down to discuss what scenario would cause Larry, the brother of your best friend (Harry) to ask you to be his best man. Not to mention only giving 5 days notice. We both agreed that it would seem to be customary that you would know far in advance of 5 days who would be the best man at your wedding.

At first I suggested that perhaps Harry had either died or fallen into a coma and was therefore unable to attend the wedding. Harry was originally intended to be the best man, but due to this tragic accident was unable to, and that explains why you were called on such short notice. Possibly Harry fell into a coma – had a bad bout with a malignant carcinoma.

But in the end, it seemed to all fall into place that you are in fact the future Mrs. Larry’s close friend. Possibly even her BEST friend (in the sense that she has no better friends), even though you of course have a best friend in Harry. There was a history between you two, perhaps some sexual tension, but in the end, things did not work out for whatever reason.

You’re truly happy for Larry and his new wife, but this history still causes you to lament as she walks down the aisle that there goes, in fact, one more girl that you won’t be gettin. Nothing serious – just a moment’s hesitation for some reflection. That also would explain why afterwards you began blinkin (back tears). Certainly your sweet and tender reaction does not hurt your chances with any bridesmaids, stacked or not. By the reception though – you’re over the tears. You wish Larry and his new wife well, and since the reception is so pumpin with the base so thumpin, and a bridesmaid so ready willing and able to dance to a different groove – things are going much better.

It also explains why there might be a need for a libido check. You want to ensure not only that things are all in working order, but also somewhat of a systems check – can I really face Mrs. Larry as she gets married, etc.

PS – If you managed to read this whole post and have no idea what I’m talking about, you might want to watch this video (especially from 3:15-3:50) (possibly NSFW) and/or read the last paragraph here. Then come back and re-read this blog – I promise it will seem much funnier