THE PEOPLE MUST HAVE THEIR DAN MILLER

More toilet fun

Well then since we all seem to be so enamored with talking about toilets, let me offer up some rules for everyone.

The Toilet Rules

The toilet is not a toy.

Toilet paper is not a toy.

After I use the bathroom I get 3 squares of toilet paper.

I count the squares: 1-2-3.

I tear off only 3 squares of toilet paper.

I wipe myself.

If I am still dirty, I can count 3 more squares of toilet paper.

I count the squares: 1-2-3.

I tear off the 3 squares of toilet paper again.

I wipe myself some more.

I am clean.

I do not play with the toilet paper.

I flush the toilet one time.

I do not put a lot toilet paper in the toilet.

Helpful information, wouldn’t you agree? No reason for sharing at all… Nobody in our house dumped an entire double roll of toilet paper in the toilet. Nope, nobody at all. Though if somebody DID do such a thing, I bet it was one of those “wants the seat down” type people…..

The mistake I made was trying to plunge it before reaching in to try to de-clog. Carolyn informed me of this after the fact. Why yes, this isn’t the first or even close to the first time such a thing has happened.

Luckily we are borrowing a wet-dry vacuum from a friend (originally for our basement cleanout). Came in very handy today. The trick was not to just suck all the water out but instead to shove the vacuum end all the way as far as it would reach BEFORE turning it on. It took a few tries but eventually we sucked that TP all the way out.

Oh and in case you were wondering, basement grime mixed with toilet paper is VERY disgusting…

Possibly Related posts:

  1. Toilet Paper Investigative Journalism <br> Words you thought you might never see in the same sentence? Yes folks, it is time for some investigative journalism that TPMHTDM is known for. Well, er, maybe. I come to you on the mighty subject of toilet paper. We all use it, but nobody is ready to ask the hard-hitting questions that the […]…
  2. More training fun So, although I have made several copious blog posts over on my OTHER blog, I thought I’d take the time to bust out a quick one for some non-county related topics. Yes, there are some actual non-county related things taking up processing power in my brain. 1. I’m not sure if I mentioned this in […]…
  3. More biking fun So I got out on the old bicycle again this morning. It had been awhile, though it’s not been far from my mind recently. I am sure you are all well aware with my madness regarding visiting all 88 Ohio counties in a 24 hour period. Recently I have been exploring a possible route and […]…
  4. Biking fun So I have been trying to get out on a weekend for a longer bike ride for awhile now. But it seems like things just seem to always come up that take precedence, and so it has taken until now to get out. Under threat of rain, I headed out about 6:30 pm over to […]…
  5. Name me 2 cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse So…. maybe I’m just not a very good Modern Major General, but I am having a hard time coming up with more than 1 cheerful fact about the square of the hypotenuse. 1. The square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other 2 sides of the triangle. Yes […]…

Dan Miller

3 responses to “More toilet fun”

  2. I wasn’t wondering, but that’s okay. And my brother (who is childless) thinks that I am too “controlling” with the kids. Because of rules like the above…of course, he has never been up to his elbows in dirty toilet water, trying to plunge out a 25-cent tub toy.

  3. and do not use towels to wipe yourself. Use toilet paper. but only 1-2-3 squares.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *